Hitch vs. Hitch
Christopher Hitchens, aka Hitch, is a British-born pundit and literary critic.
Hitch is a romantic comedy starring Will Smith.
Let's compare and contrast.
—Hitch is a dating advice guru who loses his super powers when he himself falls in love.
—Hitch is a former radical Leftist (a Trotskyite really) who lost his super powers when he started shilling for the neocons.
—Hitch favors democracy in Iraq and has been a staunch defender of Shiite Pentagon favorite Ahmed Chalabi.
—Hitch star Will Smith was once the "Fresh Prince of Bel Air," suggesting he is a Royalist.
—Hitch left behind his Leftist friends at the Nation when he felt they were more worried about John Ashcroft than Osama bin Laden.
—Hitch star Will Smith left behind his fans when he started starring in mediocre cash cows like Hitch.
—Hitch is famous for feuding with his old sidekick Martin Amis.
—Hitch star Will Smith is famous for ditching his old sidekicks DJ Jazzy Jeff and Alfonso Ribero, who played Carlton on "Fresh Prince of Bel Air."
—Hitch, known to be a boozy chainsmoker, has advocated ending the drug war in Afghanistan.
—Hitch star Will Smith has always maintained the image of the teetolaller.
—Hitch's former fans know they will never see anything as good from him again as "The Trials of Henry Kissinger" series in Harper's in 2000.
—Hitch star Will Smith's former fans know they will never see anything as good from him again as "Parents Just Don't Understand."
Verdict: Hitch wins because he maintains one redeeming quality—elegant prose. Hitch just blows.