The Coming Hipster Social Security Crisis
Dear President Bush,
I invite you to come to Williamsburg, Brooklyn.
Here you will meet the young people of today, the people for whom you intend to create "voluntary personal accounts."
Look at them—they are shabbily dressed, they have no steady jobs, they are hung over and infected.
Do you expect these young people to accept responsibility for their own futures?
That would be a grave mistake.
These hipsters need the Nanny State.
At some point their trust funds will run out and they will be innovated out of their empty freelance jobs. They will not be able to support themselves by DJing, or starting a band, or publishing a 'zine.
Hungry, poor, their vinatage clothing fraying, their i-pod, they will sell their accumulated bric-a-brac on e-bay, blow the money on smack, and then resort to turning tricks, only to find they are too old and whitered to attract any johns.
Imagine your daughter Jenna without family money.
Now imagine her in 2046:
Don't tamper with Social Security, Mr. President. Strengthen it by raising taxes on our parents.
You've been kind to us by waging war without drafting us and keeping us shielded from all the bad news. Just let us keep Social Security—we promise to spend it only on cheap, canned beer, just the kind you used to like.
Love,
Todd's Girl
PS—Does Medicare cover STDs or rehab?
I invite you to come to Williamsburg, Brooklyn.
Here you will meet the young people of today, the people for whom you intend to create "voluntary personal accounts."
Look at them—they are shabbily dressed, they have no steady jobs, they are hung over and infected.
Do you expect these young people to accept responsibility for their own futures?
That would be a grave mistake.
These hipsters need the Nanny State.
At some point their trust funds will run out and they will be innovated out of their empty freelance jobs. They will not be able to support themselves by DJing, or starting a band, or publishing a 'zine.
Hungry, poor, their vinatage clothing fraying, their i-pod, they will sell their accumulated bric-a-brac on e-bay, blow the money on smack, and then resort to turning tricks, only to find they are too old and whitered to attract any johns.
Imagine your daughter Jenna without family money.
Now imagine her in 2046:
Don't tamper with Social Security, Mr. President. Strengthen it by raising taxes on our parents.
You've been kind to us by waging war without drafting us and keeping us shielded from all the bad news. Just let us keep Social Security—we promise to spend it only on cheap, canned beer, just the kind you used to like.
Love,
Todd's Girl
PS—Does Medicare cover STDs or rehab?
posted by Todd's Girl at 11:49 AM
12 Comments:
Love it! blog on sister!
They bankrupted the US Treasury, they will bankrupt Social Security. Bush is committed to total destruction.
Reality check: Bush never sees these people
From the New York Times [Registration required]
''And although Mr. Bush repeated that raising the retirement age and other ways of cutting benefits would have to be part of the debate over how to meet his goal of making the system permanently able to pay all promised benefits, he provided no sense of which ones the administration might be willing to embrace. Over the next 75 years, the system faces a $3.7 trillion gap between what it can afford to pay and what current law promises to future retirees, and the establishment of personal accounts by itself would do nothing to eliminate that shortfall.
''Still, Mr. Bush got a rapturous reception from a carefully screened crowd of ticket holders at his first stop of the day, in North Dakota, a state he won easily in November.
''Flanked by people selected by the White House to bolster his argument and charts illustrating Social Security's problems, Mr. Bush sought to reassure one powerful constituency - the elderly and people approaching retirement - that nothing would change for them and that they would get all the benefits promised to them.'' [Emphasis added]
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Bush has no SS plan
Privatizing is a winger ideology. It has nothing to do with the actual problem with SS, that ''problem'' is far in the future. We will be better prepared to deal with it as we get closer to it.
Bush has no plan. There's nothing to analyse. That's why he only appears before by-invitation-only zealots. The object of there-is-no-objection stagecraft is to make it appear to the rest of the country's uninformed masses that the Bush non-plan has a lot of support. That is, of course, a lie. But it's of a piece with how Bush sold himself during the campaign.
I am in unrequited love with Todd's girl, but she's in love with Todd...{sigh}
life is rough.
worst. blog. ever.
What a joke. Williamsburg is where the future is happening. Don't let your own inability to succeed and low self esteem tarnish the positive image of everyone else.
I'm actually a very successful film student. You should reexamine your self-esteem. Lowering it might be more realistic.
Βе busіneѕѕ sure to ѕend the accountіng and financіal doсuments to be ѕοmewhаt сonvοlutеd.
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